Atomic_Blast's "Fallout Shelter" Humor Thread!

Atomic_Blast · ‎09-05-2011

Hi Folks!

I was thinking about some explosive fun, so here goes... Your "reaction" is appreciated!

Please post your own stuff, too!

Two atoms are walking down the street.

Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure??"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium.

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"

What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree? A chemistree.

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.

What's the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.

"Every day is just another increment on the bell curve of life."

SendOfJive · ‎02-07-2009

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the same side.

bleeper24 · ‎04-13-2011

If H ² O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
Answer: H ² O ³ ...........( H ² O ³ ) Cubed !!

Windows7 SP1....Norton NIS 2012 ...4Gb RAM ..Momentus XT SolidState HybridHD

Docendo discimus ( Teach in order to learn)

bleeper24 · ‎04-13-2011

These take me way back to Chemistry class ! I fogot loads of them, but "dug deep " and remembered a few

..........and those of us who remembered "Never lick the spoon " .....actually survived and got an A grade

Here goes then........

I told a chemistry joke today. There was no reaction.! .........

Windows7 SP1....Norton NIS 2012 ...4Gb RAM ..Momentus XT SolidState HybridHD

Docendo discimus ( Teach in order to learn)

SUBASH_PRABU · ‎05-31-2011

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".

Moral of the story: If you are a physicist or a biologist have caution while going near ocean...

Atomic_Blast · ‎09-05-2011

What is the name of the first electricity detective?
Sherlock Ohms.

Where does bad light end up?
In a prism.

Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?

What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
Gotta split!

A little boy refused to run anymore.

When his mother asked him why, he replied, "I heard that the faster you go, the shorter you become."

What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

"Every day is just another increment on the bell curve of life."

Atomic_Blast · ‎09-05-2011

Birds!

What do you get when you run over a bird with your lawnmower? Shredded Tweet!

What happens to a duck when he flies upside down? He quacks up.

What does duck eat with his soup? Quackers.

Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side. So...the one flies over and the other one swims through -- which one gets to the worm first? The one who swam of course, because "Da oily boid gets da woim."

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment!

"Every day is just another increment on the bell curve of life."