Quotable Quotes...

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

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"It's beyond the beyond ..."

- Pete Townshend

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon"  

- Woody Allen

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can."

- Danny Kaye

"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it."

- Jack Handey

"Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."

- Charles Schulz

"You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave."

- Quentin Crisp

If you are what you do and you don't, then you're not

"Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty."

- Djuna Barnes

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

- Winston Churchill

and wisdom is knowing the difference

"Everyone is at peace and happy and they all hop around from cloud to cloud. And an old man with a long, white beard wanders around - that's God."

- Britney Spears, on her view of heaven

Oh man, that's rich. What is that girl smoking these days      

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house."      

- Henny Youngman

"And now The Mayan Channel forecast. Thursday: cloudy, chance of showers, high 39. Friday: volcanoes, asteroid strikes, apocalypse."      

–David Letterman

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."

- Mahatma Gandhi