As our kids gather their new backpacks and spiral notebooks, we parents need to prepare our children for renewed vigilance against cyberbullying. Upwards of 40% of our children experienced this scourge last year. It's also easy to forget that for many of the cyberbullying incidents, many more children are silent observers of the nasty emails, cruel hoax websites and embarassing videos posted online.They are the not-so-innocent bystanders.
What is cyberbullying? This is where children use digital technology (instant messaging, cell phones, email and websites) to send cruel and harassing messages to their victim. And because it's online, it never really goes away. At least in the old days, the bully's victim eventually got home and closed the door to their harasser. Now, the pain is there 24/7 and because it's digital, it can be endlessly forwarded and repurposed in new ways.
Ok, so getting to the action item for parents and teachers: let's aim to make this new school year a better one. Let's get parent internet education into the schools and you can be the one to set it up at your own child's school. So many wonderful organizations stand ready to come to your school, often for free, to provide this important and increasingly necessary education. If you'll visit Symantec's partner School Family Media's website at www.schoolfamily.com, you will find many of these groups listed, along with great articles and helpful parenting guides. Maybe you will be the one to run the program, using materials you can find online.
Also, recognizing that your child has been a victim of cyberbullying can be so hard. It's the rare child who is willing to tell their parents when something like this happens. They are embarassed, they want to solve their own problems and they believe (often correctly) that parents don't understand and will overreact. Help break that cycle by asking, proactively, whether this form of bullying is going on in your child's school. Remember, keep the conversation general, not confrontational and allow your child to deny cyberbullying is an issue. Often, children need time to reveal these painful experiences, as well as reassurance that you won't overreact by removing the computer or the cell phone. Technology isn't the source of this problem, cyberbullying is usually just kids being cruel in the ways kids can be.
Creating better cybercitizens is an objective that parents and teachers can share. We need to teach our children how to use technology, just as we have to teach them to drive a car. Remind your little angels, as they pick out their favorite new outfit to wear for the first day, how important it is to treat each other with kindness. And if you wouldn't say something to someone's face, don't put it in a message online. If you see someone getting cyberbullied, teach your children to reach out to the victim, to show support and to say, "I saw that email message and I'm sorry they did that. It wasn't nice." That little ray of friendship might make all the difference to a victim of cyberbullying and can help us build a better environment for all our children to grow in.