The recent tragic events at the U.S. Holocaust Museum were horrific. I send my heartfelt condolences to the family of slain security guard Stephen Johns and to his extended family of the entire staff of the Museum (a national treasure). I have had the privilege and thought-provoking experience of chaperoning my daughter's class through the museum on a field trip to Washington D.C. and the message one takes away is that hatred and racism are a social cancer we all need to fight together. No one group can defend against it and hope to succeed.
As we gathered around our evening news and online reports to understand the story, many reporters and news sites provided quotes and links from the shooter's racist and hateful thoughts and writings. I choose not to mention him or provide his ideas with any additional coverage but the availability of hate speech on the internet is one that should be of concern to all parents and teachers. Stories like this one may cause an otherwise open minded child to click over to a hate site or be exposed to the angry rants of delusional people. You might not even be aware of those online visits unless your child comes to you to ask about what they've seen. And if the child continues to explore these abhorrent ideas, they may even begin to think what they see on the Internet is truth, because there are never any representations of balanced or opposing viewpoints.
As a concerned parent, an advocate for online safety for all, and a supporter of organizations such as the Anti-Defamation League that fight to stop the proliferation of hate groups, I ask that all parents use this story as a teachable moment for their children. Ask your children if they have seen the story and be ready to answer their questions about the events. You don't need to go into great detail but make sure your children understand that there are crazy and wrong-minded people who spew hate and evil ideas across the web and that it is not acceptable to support them with even the click traffic they will count as evidence of "supporters." To visit a site or read their writing is to give them tacit approval.
Additionally, as part of being a S.T.A.R. parent, you can adapt those measures for this issue:
- S is for software that can be used to block kids from being exposed- whether they intended to visit them or not - to racist, pornographic, or other objectionable Web sites. I recommend using the free OnlineFamily.Norton service. For sites that are not blocked, parental control services can also help you monitor and see where you're kids have been online. You can see if they are entering search terms that might be a cause for concern.
- T is for talking to your child: "Have you ever seen anything online that made you feel uncomfortable?" Make sure your child knows they should tell you if this happens, and reassure them that you won't be angry. Some children and teens may become curious about sites featuring racist or hate messages, or promoting risky or damaging behaviors. You may only discover this by using a parental control service or regularly checking your computer's browser history. Even a single visit should prompt you to talk to your child about it. Don't assume it was idle curiosity. Ask your child about their motivation for visiting. As you talk, if your child reveals issues, such as hate, depression or self-loathing, don't delay in taking proactive actions to help your child, including seeking out professional assistance to deal with such matters.
- A is for our awareness of the dangerous "hot spots" of the Internet. Don't assume your child won't become curious because of these news stories but make sure they get their answers from you and from credible and trusted new sites. If you find they have questions you cannot answer, use the opportunity to seek information together and build your understanding of these issues.
- R is for Rules - Establish "House Rules" with your child, so they know what Web sites are acceptable to visit and what Web sites are off limits and why. Remind your child that even a visit borne from curiosity to a site you don't approve of, gives the site owner ad revenue and visitors they can count as supporters to their cause.