On the heels of some office discussion about social networking “stalkers”; the ex-friends, ex-spouses and ex-romantic partners who abuse your Facebook or MySpace friend status to review your postings, comment on your photos, message your family and so on, two articles appeared this week about how to end a romantic relationship in the social media age. Perhaps it’s something in the New Year/New Decade waters, but the comments from those who’ve been through it before have wisdom to share with those just now going through this painful experience.
The first article I noted was on NPR. Called “In The Age of Social Media, Can You Escape Your Ex?” some of the advice includes being careful not to look at mutual friends of your ex in your loneliest or most bored moments, for the risk of seeing your ex-partner’s comments and photos. Also important is avoiding middle school-type responses to the pain of seeing your ex’ relationship status switch from single to “in a relationship”. No, don’t review the new partner’s page and obsess about whether or not they’re better looking than you or have a better job. You are a grown-up right?
The second article, from the equally serious, The New York Times, is titled, “Breaking Up in a Digital Fishbowl.” Here is some good advice about the risk of sharing passwords with your best friends or romantic partners. Or the even greater risk of sharing online banking, photo and other accounts. Best to set a policy of complete independence from the get go, but the trends indicate even school kids view sharing passwords as a test of friendship and intimacy.
What I found most interesting were the explicit step by step tips you’ll find not only in the articles but in the comments from readers. For example, readers recommend using “block” in Facebook to prevent your ex from commenting on your page but also from having their activities appear in your News Feed. And when is the right time to completely “unfriend” someone or is it even possible if you share most of your friends or have children together? The wisdom of the marketplace is rich indeed.