It’s tempting to paint those kids who’ve created or sent around some sexy photos of themselves as “fast”, “slutty” or worse. More likely they are vulnerable kids who fell prey to peer pressure or even a perception that it’s normal in our media-soaked society to present yourself to strangers and classmates as a primarily sexual being. We adults can take comfort in knowing that, despite the media barrage of attention, sexting is still an unusual activity, one that has been adopted by only 20% of teens, if the one credible study available is to be believed. Nevertheless, the only way we can stop this trend is by shining a light on it for parents, so they in turn can improve their vigilance and educate their kids.
A good video depicting the bizarre community outcome of using the Internet and social networks to display your body to others can be seen here. It was created by the Ad Council to show teens the dangers of posting sexy images on your social networks, but the weirdness of having complete strangers know you from a photo you never thought they’d see is what hits me. For example, there’s a striking moment when some boys in the mall, point to “Sarah” as “the girl I was telling you about” and you can tell by the reaction on Sarah’s face how nervous she feels. This is a great video to show at high school presentations - it just speaks for itself.
We’ve had a rash of legal activity trying to address the sexting issue since these images constitute child pornography. Fortunately we’ve also seen a push back from the communities where these cases are being pursued, asking for counseling and education for the involved teens, rather than court time and penalties. Recently, the ACLU successfully got some teens and their parents off the hook by preventing a case from continuing to trial. Larry Magid of ConnectSafely has prepared a well-researched and practical article about the reasons law enforcement has taken such a strong view of sexting but also providing parents and educators with some strategies for dealing with events as they might arise.
The bottom line is any kid who is misusing their cell phone or computer and digital cameras to create these images needs more parental supervision. I urge parents to retain daily access to the cellphones at night, perhaps when they are being charged. Have “The Talk” for sexting. Regularly ask to see stored photos on the phone and talk to your children about the risks of engaging in this pastime. Show them the news stories, the PSA video I link to above and make sure they can repeat back to you why it’s stupid even to take a photo of themselves in their underwear or nude, even as a “joke.” I’m sure, with additional education on this issue, sexting will soon become a very unpopular activity from the kid’s perspective, if only because having your parents ask if “you’ve ever posed in your panties” would be a highly undesirable thing.