It used to be if someone mentioned stalking, you’d think of a horror film with a stranger lurking in darkness, following you home and intending harm. There have been numerous real world stories of delusional fans stalking their celebrity crush, eventually ending in legal hot water. Even regular people have been tormented by stalkers and if you’re the victim of unwanted attention from someone, you may need legal protection. A stalker can be a serious problem and a reason to take immediate action to stay safe.
What about online stalking? Today’s youth use the term to describe the viewing of someone else’s online information, using social networks and online searches to read and view their crush or friend’s posts and photos. A recent article in TeenVogue called “Cyberspy” makes it sound like something most girls engage in from time to time but also a habit that can easily get out of hand. One girl found herself checking out her ex-boyfriend’s page so much she “knew she crossed the line between interested and obsessive.” What worked for her was to deactivate her social networking account, temporarily taking her out of the habit and giving herself time to heal from the breakup.
Though I’d prefer we had a different term to describe online spying or page visiting, it’s clear that our normal curiosity and desire for information is served by the incredible amount of online sharing we all do. In my teen years, we’d drive by the house of the boy we were interested in or curious about. Simply seeing his car in a driveway supposedly gave us “important” information. Now, of course, you can see photos and read wall posts, getting a pretty good idea of where someone spends their time and who they spend it with. Something for all of us to remember when setting privacy features and talking to our kids about online privacy and reputation.
According to the TeenVogue story, some even find creative ways to view supposedly private pages and information. One girl admits borrowing a friend’s login credentials to gain access to a girl’s private page. All of this underscores how necessary it is to critique your online friend’s list. Do you really know all these people and do you have a sense of the people they are friends with? For example, if you’ve online friended a local DJ or party organizer, their network may include thousands of people you don’t know at all. This is a great example of someone you’re hoping can benefit you with access to special events but may also limit your privacy and security in your social network. If you’d like to set your own social network privacy settings more strictly, I can recommend the advice from ConnectSafely.org. Using privacy settings can limit the access a complete stranger may have to your photos, posts and private information and increase your safety in the real world.