I just need to let my kids and their peers know, now that we parents have discovered the joys of Facebook and other social networks, we're not leaving. So it's time to figure out the how we play together without ruining all the fun. And as parents, let's use this negotiation to make it safer too!
For one, make sure you keep some boundaries with your children and their circle of friends. If you want to "friend" your child, ask them or warn them first so you can discuss any concerns about privacy. For adult or college-aged children, it's entirely possible you will be turned down flat. They have already invested in creating a detailed online persona that isn't meant for your eyes. I have heard this so many times from friends and parents I meet so I recommend getting onto the social networks ahead of your kids if you can. Then you can be the one to show them how it works (and make sure you are one of their first "friends" or online buddies.)
Here's an article outlining some of the ways parents can enjoy social networks without ruining it for the kids.
Next, let's deal with the risks of online strangers contacting your child by understanding that it can and does happen. So how can your child's profile be more private? Make sure you know how to adjust the settings by visiting the Security or Privacy section of the website and showing your child how to make the necessary changes. Check them by doing a search in the social network without being logged in so you can see what a stranger would see. Or ask a colleague to login under their own account (someone who is not in your child's network) to do the same searching and show you what comes back. Also, use search engines like Google or Yahoo to see what information from the social network might be "bleeding" into the rest of the Internet.
As part of training your child to deal with online stranger danger, talk about how to react if a communication comes in. Stop (don't respond), block the sender, and keep a copy of the message, especially if it seems personal or threatening. I get a lot of unwanted spam messages in Instant Message programs but I can tell it's being generated by a spam engine and not coming from someone who actually knows me. You should talk to your child about what motivates a stranger to contact someone so they will be prepared to be suspicious. Without this sort of prep work, if your child received a flattering message ("Hey, saw your cute profile pic! I also love puppies") from an attractive stranger, they might let their normal defenses down. Remind your child that even good-looking people can be predators (which isn't how the popular media portrays sex offenders) and that any image can be used to represent the sender. Even if the shot is of a teenaged boy, the message might have been sent from a 65-year old man.
Despite the fact that risk of meeting a sexual predator online is low, it does happen. I just read about a man arrested after he started harassing a young girl he met online by sending her text messages. He found her on MySpace, obtained her cellphone number, began sending her messages. The 12-year old girl's alert mother found the messages on the cellphone and immediately contacted authorities. The police continued the conversation and were able to arrest the man when he arranged to meet the girl in a city park. Hooray for alert parenting!