If you only received your internet safety information from the popular media, you would assume that any teen who uses social networking (MySpace, Facebook, etc) is bombarded by messages from online predators. Moments after that new MySpace page goes live, every teen (boy or girl) is getting "Be My Friend" messages from pedophiles, predators, convicted felons and pervs in your own neighborhood. Right? I know you are someone who approaches this with more common sense than that and if you are reading this blog and the other articles on our Family Resource site, you know that this topic is far more complex. If you want to have any shred of credibility with the teens in your life, it's best to be informed and know what is real and what is myth.
What is real, is that 1 in 7 online teens will receive a sexually oriented message in a year's time while online. Most of the teens report they are not bothered by the message (which could be as basic as "let's hook up" and could be from a peer or friend). Most teens just close the message, block the sender and move on. Your teen's common sense will always serve them as well in the online world as it does in the offline world.
Myth: simply having your personal information available online will mean that online strangers will find you, hunt you down and abduct or physically harm you. The reality is that while having personal information or photos online reduces your privacy, it doesn't translate into online predator attention. A headline in today's press indicated that in Europe, there is hype that the mere ability of a friend to post your photos adds grave risk to your life. We need to be mindful of the difference between loss of privacy, or possible embarassment and cyberbullying to the more serious risk of stranger danger.
A study published in the February/March 2008 issue of American Psychologist outlines the actual behaviors someone needs to engage in, that would increase their risk of stranger contact significantly. They found that there are 9 behaviors that when found in any combination of 4 or more are shown to pose the most concern. Below is the list of behaviors and the percentage of online teens who do this (demonstrates norms versus the unusual).
"1. Posting personal information online - 56% of youth Internet users (engage in this activity)
2. Interacting online with unknown people -43%
3. Having unknown people on a buddy list - 35%
4. Using the Internet to make rude and nasty comments to others - 28%
5. Sending personal infomration to unknown people met online - 26%
6. Downloading images from file-sharing programs - 15%
7. Visiting X-rated sites on purpose - 13%
8. Using the Internet to embarass or harass people youths are mad at - 9%
9. Talking online to unknown people about sex - 5%"
The least prevalent (example, talking to strangers online about sex) are the ones that pose the most concern. For example, if a teen in your life is found to be taking photos of themselves and sending them to strangers, having strangers on their buddy lists, talking online about sex and spending a lot of time at porn sites - you can be far more certain that you have a serious problem that requires immediate attention and intervention.
Here's the more common scenario we need to avoid: When Mom or Dad discover their child has allowed some strangers to be added to their MySpace page and they freak out - thinking that just because their child's school name is on the MySpace page, the stranger will be driving up at the end of the school day to abduct their child. Deep breaths, folks. Let's just remove the strangers, remind our child about the importance of protecting their private information and recognize real risks versus Internet myths promoted by the TV news and supermarket tabloids.