At two parents' presentations in a row, the topic of a child's first email account has become a hotly debated subject. The parents ask why can't their kids just use the family account? "Am I stifling their independence if I don't give in to their request? What are the risks" and what do I think they should do?
I'm not a parenting expert, just another parent like you trying to make good, informed decisions to help our children develop with appropriate amounts of protection and freedom. Email presents some interesting problems. On the positive side, children with their own email accounts can deepen existing relationships with relatives and friends far away. I get misty-eyed at the thought of a small child typing his or her first message to Grandma or even Santa Claus. The typing and spelling practice, the feeling of being empowered by the computer in front of them, the sense of task completion and mastery and even the satisfaction when a reply is received. "You've Got Mail!" still has a zing to it for a small child.
On the downside, email means spam. Over 80% of the world's email is spam, and most spam is written in English and designed to fool us into clicking links, sending money or sharing private information. Much of our spam email is still a nasty business and I don't want the younger children exposed to"Natural Viagra" offers or other inducements to send a credit card. Our children are vulnerable enough to free iPod offers they see in web ads.
At one school, the new computer teacher helped the 10 year old students set up their first Gmail account, without informing or asking the parents in advance. Many of the parents at a recent Internet Safety presentation were naturally upset, since they had previously told their children the time wasn't right yet for their first account. Some had only found out about the new email addresses accidentally when the child said they had a homework assignment to send an email.
So what do I think they should do? I think each family should think about the maturity and sophistication of their child before giving them their own email address. These decisions should also be considered in context of the school community since once one child is using email, the other children will quickly demand their own accounts. Another important aspect - no teacher should be setting up a child's email account without the permission of the parents and an agreement that the parents get the email account password. The teachers shouldn't be emailing a child either. It's just not ever appropriate to bypass the parent in this way. In the case of the new computer teacher, I'm fairly sure this is a case of an inexperienced teacher making a judgment error. As a result of the parent discussion, I know he's about to get an earful from newly empowered parents.